Getting Your Toddler To Listen
Toddlers are just like the rest of us-they don’t listen. In fact,at their age they need you to teach them how to pay attention."But what often happens, is that parents say something 10 times,then they start counting down to punishment.What does is actually condition the child not to listen until the tenth time.
By not listening your child is getting your attention(tho constant nagging isn’t the best form of it.) But being a good lestiner helpsyour childlearn more effectively,heed danger signals,get along better with you and her teachers and other adults she/he will be be expected to respect,and make better friends.There are many simple strategies that,when consistentlyfollowed,will teach toddlers the skills they need to become good lestiners.And,it is never too early to begin teaching your child. A toddler may notlisten as well as 5-year-old,but still has lots of there skills.
GET ON HER LEVEL
As every parent realizes sooner or later, bellowing from a great height(much less from the other room)rarely has desired effect,Squat down or pick your child up,so you can look her in the eye and grab her attention.She/he ‘ll listen much more closely if you sit down next to her at the breakfast table when reminding her/his to eat up her/his cornfalkes,or perch on her bed at night when telling her/his you’re about to turn out the light.
BE CLEAR
State your message clearly,simply and authoritatively.Your child will zone out if you harp on a topic too long. It’s hard to find the point of a wordy message such as "It’s really cold outside,and you’ve been sick lately,so I want you to put on your sweater before we go to the store."On the other hand,"It’s time to get your sweater" is unmistakable.And don’t phrase something as a question if your child does not actually have a choice." It’s time to climb into your car seat" has a lot more impact than"Come climb into your car seat,okay,honey?"
REINFORCE YOUR MESSAGE
It often helps to follow up your statement with a number of other kinds of messages,especially if you are trying to pull your child away from an absorbing activity.Say "Time for bed!" and then give a visual cue(flicking the light switch on and off)",a physical cue(laying a hand on her shoulder to gently pull her attention away her doll toward you)’and demonstration(steering her toward her bed,pulling down the covers,and patting the pillow).
GIVE WARNINGS
Give your child some advance notice before a big change will take palce,especially if she/his ’s happily involved with toys or a friend.Before you’re ready to leave the house,tell her/him,"We’re going to leave in a few minutes.When I call you,it’s time to come out of the sandbox and wash your hands."
GIVE REALISTIC INSTRUCTIONS
"If you tell a 2-year-old to put his/her toys away,he/she looks around the room and says,’sheeesssh!" Give him/her realistic tasks,’Let’s put the yellow blocks away.’ Then you can make it into play; Good,now let’s put blue blocks away."
MOTIVATE
Yelling orders may produce results(in some children),but no one will enjoy the process.Most children respond best when you treat them with confident good humor.For example,occasionally use silly voice or song to deliver your message.You might sing"Now it’s time to brush your teeth"to the tune of"London bridge,"for example. Stress the benefits of complying over mere dutifulness("Brush you teeth and then you can pick out your favorate nightgown"instead of"You have to brush your teeth or you’ll get cavities"or"Brush your teeth NOW!"). Praise her’him when finishes brushing,with"Good listening!"
The good humor,affection,and trust you demonstrate to your child when speaking to her/him this way will make her want to listen to you,because she/he ‘ll know that you love him/her and think they are special. This is an important aspect of even those strategies that require firmness.Giving straightforward,authoritative instruction does not mean you have to be crabby–such messages are much more powerful when accompanied buy a hug or a smile.Then your child learns that paying attention to you is worthwhile.
MODEL GOOD BEHAVIOR
Preschooler will be better listeners if they see that you are a good listener,too.Make it a habit to listen to your child as respectfully as you would to any adult.Look at her/him when she/he talks to you,respond politely,and let her finish without interrupting whenever possible.While it may seem like a tall order when you’re cooking dinner and your toddler is being especially chatty,try not to walk away from him/her or turn your back on her while she’s talking.As with so many other behaviors,the old saw"Do as I say,not as I do"has no value when teaching children to listen.
